Have you ever thought about how a surprise is only fun when you are clueless of its existence? The attempt to anticipate a surprise, waiting and wondering, actually has the ability to drive a person crazy. The lack of control and utter dependency requires trust that the surpriser is good, caring, and capable. There must be the understanding that beyond your scope and vision there is a dependable plan. A plan that you didn't make. A plan that requires nothing from you save reckless trust.
I have found myself in the midst of a romance with One who is unpredictable and while His unpredictability is predictably good, learning not to try and anticipate His ways is something that is essential to my well being. I'm learning to love that in the end I know that the details are not my burden to carry. Every loose end has been tied, every proverbial "i" has been dotted, every "t" crossed and all that I have to do is sit back and marvel at His love and goodness toward me. He knows my heart's deepest desire, He woos me as He giddily presents me with things that I never would have dreamt of myself. He knows every good and perfect thing and it is His delight to share them with me. Can you imagine someone who's delight is found in making your heart flutter with excitement? That overwhelming devotion to me is just a piece of the love that brings peace that passes all understanding. My life, to any bystander looks like a suicide mission, but I have peace knowing that in death we find life. Everyday I walk toward financial death knowing that in reality, because of the love and goodness my Savior, I walk toward a full life complete with purpose and destiny.
There are hidden places, storehouses that are waiting to be exposed. I know that they exist because I know the end of the story, and I know that the narrator is true to His word. Here's to celebrating that the middle will work itself out!
P.S. Have I mentioned that within the first week of fundraising for India, $2000 was given and a portion of the cost was waived? Yep, pretty amazing for a girl with few connections. Down to $3,000 and counting!
