Don't You Know Who I Am?

One thing you learn in the food service industry is that people have a rather interesting view of the waiter or waitress that is serving them. I have been disregarded and unacknowledged. I have been waived at like a slave, beckoned and dismissed with the simple wave of a hand. I have watched as their eyes roll back in their heads with a speechless expression that needs no words to imply, "I'm annoyed by you and your meer existence is exasperating." I'm sure you are wondering if perhaps I am simply a terrible waitress, and while that would explain the responses I receive, let me assure you that I am not....those are typical occurances.

I found myself overwhelmed with how rude the American public seemed to be. There have been times when I wanted to scream, "Don't you know that I am still a human being just like you? Don't you know that I am a well educated individual with rights and privileges? Don't you realize that I am serving here by choice and am in no way, shape or form your slave? Just because I am providing a service to you, does not mean that I am inferior to you." Everything within me cried out and I struggled to cope with my slip down the societal ladder. That is, until God reminded me that who I am is not defined by how people view me. I am a free individual, bought and paid for by the blood of Christ. He paid a ransom for my life and I can never be plucked from His hand. I can, however, give up my freedom to become a servant to others. No one can steal what you freely lay down. There is a vast difference between having your satus revoked and retaining your status by laying down all rights and privileges of your own free will. In one scenario your identity is stolen from you and you are consumed with trying to recover what is rightfully yours; in the other, the assurance of your identity frees you to walk in a place where other people's disregard for your status isn't offensive. Throughout history people have struggled to gain equality; whether it is a nationality, a race, or a gender people have an instinctive knowledge that they were born equally. It's only when you have self assurance of your identity that you can stop struggling against man and begin to serve him.

I'm blown away by the example that Christ set for us. Laying down His deity, He became fully human. Being bruised and broken, spit on and laughed at, He did not struggle against man to reclaim His place above even the rulers; instead, knowing who He was, He confidently became a servant to those who were ignorant of the picture of love that was being lived out in front of them.

Update: Just 3 weeks and $1,000 to go! I'm blown away by the provision I have received. What once looked like a mountain now seems like a mole hill, or an ant hill, or a grain of sand....what's smaller than that???

Dear Mom and Dad,

Stick with me through the song (Sugarland, "Baby Girl")....there's a point.

They say this town,
The stars stay up all night,
Don't know can't see'em,
For the glow of the neon lights.
And it's a long way from here,
To the place where the home fires burn,
Well it's 2,000 miles and one left turn.

[chorus]
Dear Mom and Dad,
Please send money,
I'm so broke that it ain't funny.
I don't need much just enough to get me through.
Please don't worry 'cause I'm alright.
(I'm playin here at the bar tonight)
This time I'm gonna make our dreams come true...
Well I love you more than anything in the world.
Love,
Your Baby Girl

Black top blue sky,
Big town full of little white lies,
Everybody's your friend you can never be sure.
They'll promise fancy cars and diamond rings,
All sorts of shiny things.
Girl, you'll remember what your knees are for.

[repeat chorus]

I know that I'm on my way,
When I can tell every time I play.
And I know it's worth all the dues I pay,
When I can write to you and say...

Dear Mom and Dad,
I'll send money. I'm so rich that It ain't funny.
Well it oughtta be more then enough to get you through.
Please don't worry cause I'm alright,
I'm stayin here at the Ritz tonight,
Whatta ya know we made our dreams come true!
And there are fancy cars and diamond rings,
But you know that they don't mean a thing,
Well they all add up to nothin compared to you,
Well, remember me in ribbons and curls...
I still love you more than anything in the world

Love,
Your Baby Girl

Ok, so replace playing music with becoming a missionary and living out the destiny that God created for me from the beginning of time...you catch the drift. Here's to a mom and dad who hang in there when their child follows a dream that doesn't seem safe, secure, or easy. More than that, here's to calling out things that are not as though they are (Romans 4:17). I pray that my parents see a full return on the investment they've made in my life, not only monetarily but in prayers and tears. It's coming mom and dad...(allow me a little poetic license)

"I know that I'm on my way,
When I can tell every time I pray,
And I know it's worth all the dues we pay,
When I can write to you and say...

The world has changed.


p.s. My Visa is in, my forms are complete, the plane ticket is in hand, and things are coming together. From $6000 down to $1000 and counting.